My guest for this episode is Alex Terranova, founder of DreamMason ® Inc. Performance Coaching, host of the DreamMason Podcast, and author of Fictional Authenticity. We talked about dreams—how we all formed them when we were children, how some of us gave up on them as we grew up, and how we can rediscover our goals and dreams. We discuss the pain and discomfort that comes with winning in our games, and how we should deal with them if we want to create bigger lives for ourselves.
Let’s dive into this episode and find out how to rediscover our dreams, accept pain as part of our journey, and create the life we’ve always wanted.
[00:01 – 16:59] Opening Segment
If you haven’t heard the term “DreamMason” before, it’s because Alex invented the word. He defines a dream mason as anyone who builds their dream with their own hands. He also coined the term he used as the title of his book– “Fictional Authenticity.” He calls it fictional because according to Alex, the dreams we made for ourselves when we are kids are usually not based on who we really are. Instead, we often change our dreams to a different version to compensate for the things we feared.
According to Alex, his interest on dreams and rediscovering ourselves probably started when he was a kid. Alex was born and raised in LA and he thinks of the words money-, vanity-, and looks-driven to describe the place. Growing up like this resulted to him living based on an ego and avoidance behavior until his 20s. He has not had an awakening, until he reached his 30s, when he finally realized that he’s not going to end up where he wants to be if he keeps on doing what he just keeps on doing.
Since then, Alex has turned his life around. He coaches people to help them rediscover what they really want in their lives, at present.
[22:15- 27:41] We get exactly what we want
Part of rediscovering our dreams is knowing what we really want for our lives. In turn, part of knowing what we really want is accepting that “we get exactly what we want,” says Alex. This includes the negative stuff too, like smoking or being overweight. If people keep doing things like this, then they honestly probably want them. It’s just the CONSEQUENCES that they hate.
So, if you’re struggling right now from consequences, keep this in mind: when a snake wants to grow, it loses its old skin. We have to do that as people too if we want to grow! And Alex adds, it is perfectly normal for the recognition of our old skin to be the most painful and uncomfortable part of the process.
[22:15- 27:41] Being comfortable addressing your pain
Much like how the snake in Alex’s story feels discomfort as it leaves its old skin behind, we’re also going to suffer from pains and discomfort as we leave a part of our lives behind. When you encounter pain and discomfort, remember what Alex said about them today: Experiencing pain and discomfort may be inevitable, but suffering from them is completely up to us.
Instead of suffering from the pain and discomfort, we can instead choose to embrace them and make meaning of them. We can instead focus on the things we want, how we want our life to be like, and the difference we’re making. After all, there is no such thing as a life without pain and discomfort. Why don’t we just enjoy the ride as we go?
[27:42 – 33:19] Creating a Bigger Life
Part of living our old lives behind and creating a bigger life for ourselves is accepting that pain is normal and natural, and discomfort is part of the process. Take the risk to get into the unknown! Restarting your life is never comfortable but there’s nothing wrong with it. We also get to choose our consequences—would you rather suffer from the consequences of living your life the way you’ve always lived it? Or be uncomfortable for a while, but then, be finally able to create the bigger life you’ve always wanted?
[33:20 – 39:55] The FOCUS FIVE Segment
The FOCUS FIVE are five questions I ask every guest on my show. Keep on listening to find out what book Alex gifts most often; who would he talk to if he can get an hour of any person living or dead, from the past or the present, and why; that one thing he believes but most people will disagree with; his morning routine; and lastly, where are the best places we can connect with him online. (See the links below for Alex’s social media links!)
“ Everyone is a dream mason if they’re willing to be courageous enough to declare that they have dreams.” – Alex Terranova
“Figure out what game you’re playing, because you might end up winning at the game you didn’t want to play.” – Alex Terranova
“If we are struggling with something right now, ask yourself, what are we getting from the struggle?” -Alex Terranova
Resources mentioned in the episode:
- Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue by Neale Donald Walsch
- Michael Jordan
- The DreamMason Podcast
- Fictional Authenticity by Alex Terranova
- Flip the Lens Podcast
- The Coaching Show Podcast
- Schedule a call with Hans
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